Sexual orientation is a complex, confusing phenomenon. Whilst we have commonly understood definitions of heterosexuality, homosexuality and bisexuality, the lived experiences of many people are that the narrow pigeonholes of these three terms are not adequate.

Heterosexual — a person who is sexually attracted to the opposite sex
Homosexual — a person who is sexually attracted to members of the same sex
Bisexual — sexually attracted by both sexes

Collins English Dictionary, Second Australian edition, 1986

These definitions don’t tell us whether heterosexuals need to be exclusively attracted to the opposite sex to be truly heterosexual, or whether homosexuals need to be exclusively attracted to the same sex to be homosexual. Many heterosexuals have occasional same-sex fantasies — does this make them bisexual?

Other terms, such as gay, lesbian, straight, and queer, are used by people to describe their own sexual orientation, or that of others. Once again definitions are not always clear.

What is a lesbian?

A lesbian is a homosexual woman. The word derives from the Greek island of Lesbos, where Sappho, a teacher known for her poetry celebrating love between women, established a school for young women in the sixth century B.C.

What is a gay person?

Gay is a synonym for homosexual. Since the late 1960s, homosexual men and women have publicly adopted the word gay as a positive alternative to the clinical sounding homosexual. Gay was used as slang in place of homosexual as far back as the 1920s, almost exclusively within the homosexual subculture….

Not all homosexual people like the word gay; some prefer the word homosexual to gay. And since gay has come to be used primarily in association with male homosexuals, many, if not most, homosexual women prefer to be called lesbians. Among some gay and lesbian people, the word queer has become popular in place of gay or lesbian…they feel it is more inclusive than gay or lesbian. And they feel that by "reclaiming" a word that has been used by those who hate gay people, they have stripped it of its original hurtful intent…

Eric Marcus Is it a Choice? Harper, San Francisco, 1993

The term queer is generally used to include people who are bisexual or transgender, as well as those who are lesbian or gay.

Transgendered people are those who, consistently and generally since a very early age, have felt that their gender is the opposite of their biological sex. That is, they may be born biologically male but feel that they are female, or be born female but feel that they are male. It is not just about "dressing up as the opposite sex". Whilst coming to terms with being transgendered is likely to be a confusing and difficult time, transgendered people are not ‘confused’ about their gender; they simply have a gender which is the opposite to their biological sex.

These terms can be blurry not only because they can overlap, but also because we grow into our sexual orientations at our own pace. Most people will not know if they are gay or lesbian, bisexual or straight until they are in the early years of their adolescence, and for others it will take longer. Because our society associates heterosexuality with what is "normal", many young people assume that they are themselves heterosexual, until their experiences and fantasies in adolescence tell them otherwise. In acknowledging their same-sex attractions and taking on a gay or lesbian identity, these young people are said to be "coming out". They are not "changing" from straight to gay; they are developing and affirming their sexual identity.

How do you know if you’re gay or lesbian?

The key to knowing whether you’re heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual is to pay attention to your feelings of attraction. The challenge for many gay, lesbian and bisexual people is being honest with themselves about what they’re feeling because society is, in general, so unaccepting of them.

Eric Marcus Is it a Choice? Harper, San Francisco, 1993

In Australian society there are many diverse opinions about homosexuality. As a result of negative opinion, and the prejudice, fear and violence that can flow from negative opinion, many lesbian and gay people have a difficult time coming out, and their health may suffer as a result. We know from research that same-sex attracted young people are more likely to be depressed, more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, and more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers. They often feel isolated, and are reluctant to approach potential sources of support out of fear that disclosing their sexuality to someone else will make things worse. For those who are able to find support, and to meet and engage with other same-sex attracted young people, these problems can be minimised, and the young people can go on to live positive, exciting three-dimensional lives.

Why are gay and lesbian people discriminated against?

In choosing to discriminate against lesbian and gay people, some people talk about a belief that homosexuality is sinful or immoral. Some equate homosexuality with paedophilia. Others talk about homosexuals as a threat to "family values". Some, particularly young, people may choose to discriminate against others as a way of "fitting in" with peers, or even to deflect others from questioning their own sexuality. Much prejudice against homosexuals occurs simply because it is not challenged with facts and accurate information. Exploring people’s values and how they came about is, of course, a complex and sensitive issue.

What gives us our sexual orientation? Do we choose it?

This is a difficult question. Whilst the scientific evidence points towards a biological/genetic cause for our particular sexual orientation, there is as yet no absolute proof of this. Some people say that they chose their sexuality, but most people say that it is just who they are.

Part of what confuses this issue is that most of us do not fit in to neat pigeon-holes. While some people are 100% heterosexual, and others 100% homosexual, most people are on a continuum somewhere in between.

We also know that people’s sexual behaviour is amenable to change. Men in prisons are the classic example of this — many men who are heterosexual in their sexual orientation will have consensual sex with other men whilst in prison. This does not make them gay. So we can choose the sex of our sexual partner, but this does not change our sexual orientation.

A lot of time and energy is invested in asking why some people are gay or lesbian. To ask the question "What makes someone gay?" assumes that people are naturally heterosexual and somehow "turn" gay. This is against all scientific evidence. In past times, when left-handed people were seen as evil, and more recently when they were seen as weak or sick, time and energy was spent in wondering why some people were left-handed. Perhaps when homosexuality is accepted as normal and natural in society we will stop wondering why people have the sexual orientations that they do.

Access to services

Homosexuality is now legal in all Australian states. Whilst Equal Opportunity laws vary from state to state, the trend across Australia is towards allowing gay and lesbian people greater rights, though nowhere as yet are these entirely equal to the rights of heterosexual people.

Gay and lesbian people are, of course, legally allowed to access GPs, hospitals, and other health services, in the same way, as are heterosexual people. Many fear discrimination, however, when they discuss their sexuality with a health professional, and some have had very negative experiences in this area. For this reason Family Planning Victoria is keen to promote its services as being welcoming to all people, including those who are lesbian, gay or bisexual. We are also involved in delivering professional development to doctors, nurses and other health professionals, and in our training we promote the idea of service delivery that is inclusive of the needs of gay, lesbian and bisexual people.

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