Sexuality and Sexual Health - Keeping sex alive

Sexuality and Sexual Health - Men's Midlife Sexuality

When you first realised there was this great thing called sex, all you had to worry about was whether you got a sexually transmitted infection (STI), a girl pregnant, whether you came too soon, and why is it that it’s been two weeks since you had sex!

In your teens and twenties it took nothing to arouse you and everything looked sexy.

Now, later in life, it takes something pretty extraordinary to get you started and really if it’s a choice between The Footy Show and sex, it’s a toss up.

You have to look at your sexuality as something that evolves. From awkward fumbling in the backseat of your first car to casual dating to hopefully finding someone you want to spend some time with, maybe even the rest of your life.

As you grow old together, you discover sexual feelings you never knew you had. You also come to realise that bedroom activity, not necessarily intercourse, is possible well into your 60s, 70s and 80s. And there's something special about this because you don't have to concern yourself with such things as:

babies crying
kids having nightmares
partners worrying about babies crying and kids having nightmares

which you do when you're in your 30s, 40s and even early 50s.

If you have a new partner, you need to remember to practise safe sex with him or her. HIV and other STIs are a reality whether you're 18 or 80.

And if your partner is female, she's only just entered menopause (stopped getting her period), you should continue to use some form of birth control for at least two years. (She'll certainly know this, but she'll appreciate you showing your awareness.) And be aware that around this time her vagina may be sore and dry, so be patient and think of ways to help.

If you are having problems getting an erection, remember you are not alone. Your inability to obtain or maintain an erection can be triggered by:

Emotional stress
Depression
Fatigue
Relationship problems
Medical problem (seek advice)
Smoking, drinking and drug use.

See your doctor if you're worried. Counselling and medication are available to help you overcome your erectile dysfunction.

Also remember that sex is more than intercourse. So take it slowly, and enjoy. Surely after four or more decades of having sex, you should know what you are doing. Be confident and enjoy.